When To Put Yourself First

When to put yourself first is a selfish title, isn’t it?

Often, putting yourself first means someone or something is not first. When we always get what we want, push our way with others, or refuse to share, we’re acting selfishly. I’m not sure about you, but when someone is always selfish, I have a problem with that.

I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on life as I’ve grown older, and I’ve come to a hard truth: some of my thoughts and actions are self-centered. That’s a tough pill to swallow for a hypocrite, a husband, a father of two grown kids, and a follower of Christ. This reflection has led me to ask myself a tough question: When is it okay to be selfish and put yourself first?

Let’s explore that and tie it back to fitness so it does not resemble an episode of Dr. Phil.

When Not To Put Yourself First

Let’s state the obvious.

When you’re a married man and constantly putting yourself ahead of your wife’s needs, I will show you an unhappy wife. I’ve done that but lucky for me, my wife on has pulled my head from my ass on multiple occasions.

It’s never pretty, but necessary.

If you’re a parent who always prioritizes your needs over your children, you’ll have a few empty spots at the dining table when they’re old enough to make their own choices. You only need to look at Gene Hackman and his tragic death to realize that he most likely put his career ahead of his children.

Another example is the known sickness of a friend, family member, or loved one. When someone cannot look after themselves physically, mentally, or both, and someone else prioritizes their needs and wants over theirs, that’s a problem. 

And guess what? I’ve been guilty of that too.

Another bone to pick is when a lifter asks someone else to work with a particular machine because they’re hogging it, and the other person says no. That’s bogus. They should never put themselves first and should learn to share. After all, it’s not theirs to hog.

Give up your seat for older adults, offer someone else seconds before you take them, let other drivers in to keep traffic moving, and hold the door so others can walk through before you.

When being polite and sharing is the right thing to do, you shouldn’t prioritize yourself. There are countless examples, but I’ve worn out my soapbox.

I’m stepping down now.  

When To Put Yourself First

If you’re a regular flyer, you’ll know this by heart. If the oxygen masks drop in the cabin, put on yours first before helping others, because you are no good to others if you can’t breathe. In First Aid classes, you’re told to see if the scene is safe before helping the unconscious person.

Even when someone might be dying, you need to put yourself before others.

You can’t help someone if you hurt yourself in the process. Both serve as excellent examples of when it’s essential to prioritize yourself, even if for a brief moment. We could elaborate with multiple examples, but you might lose interest and stop reading.

Indeed, there are exceptions to this rule; otherwise, we wouldn’t have heroes saving others’ lives, making it a personal choice.

Many people are in the helping profession, either as parents or caregivers, doctors and nurses, police officers, or personal trainers. They put themselves before others because that is their job. However, they, along with other selfless individuals, constantly put others before themselves for various reasons, until their tanks are empty.  

Here’s where we tie back to health and fitness, and putting on your O2 mask first. For me, exercise is similar to putting on a mask first because it’s the ultimate self-care and fills my tank, which puts me in a better position to help others.

I spent around 10 hours per week exercising, which could be time spent helping others. It is a selfish decision because my workout times are non-negotiable; however, being selfish and putting myself first allows me to better help my wife, kids, friends, and clients.

It’s a balancing act, but an act that all need to perform.

Wrapping Up

There are two sides to the “put yourself first” coin; only you can decide when to flip the coin and choose a side. Being selfish can be both beneficial and detrimental, so choose wisely.