Here’s a funny tidbit about the past. It’s always lurking; at times, you cannot shake it, you always live with it, and you can never change it. I believe we can all agree on that, as I don’t use the words ‘always’ and ‘never’ lightly.
You’re told to forget about it, learn from it, or scrub it from your memory banks. All these are often easier said than done, as it often lurks around me like a ghost, ready to rear up and remind me of its presence.
If all else fails, my wife’s elephant memory will remind me of my past indiscretions. She’s helpful like that.
It’s only necessary to dig up your past if it affects your present and future. Here, we’ll delve into that and explore how it affects and benefits your efforts to achieve a healthy and fit lifestyle.
The Past, Present & Future
Your past, you can’t shake it.
Some try hard to outrun and deal with it with achievements, being super busy, or drugs and alcohol. There is no judgment here, but rather how I’ve dealt with things and how those around me have dealt with their past.
Around six years ago, a good friend committed suicide, and nobody saw it coming. Not his family, not his wife, and indeed not his friends. He had a good job, all the toys you could ask for, and a beautiful wife. But IMO, he had a past he couldn’t shake, which may have been the instigator for it.
The tragic death of his Dad.
Grieving is a challenging and individual thing, and people deal with it differently. But there is one way you should never deal with it: stuffing it down. Not working through it and denying it may cause problems with the present and future.
I’m a hypocrite because that’s how I’ve dealt with grieving, especially with my Dad. I’ve learned my lessons the hard way. The tragic death of my friend started a chain of events that kicked loose some past stuff that affected my present and future.
The Past Is Baked In
I’m not Dr. Phil, so you can take this explanation as you will. During childhood, you are impressionable because your brain is developing. So, the environment around you, including your parents and friends, shapes your normal because what else do you know?
Not a lot, except candy is yummy.
Using my childhood as an example, my father worked hard and long hours looking after his family. He often came home tired and irritated, taking it out on me, my brothers and sisters, and my mum. He would yell and swear often, and none of us would feel good about it.
All of us were on edge.
Being exposed to this behavior became my normal, but I swore I wouldn’t be like him when I grew up. But guess what? When I got married and had kids, how did I manage my emotions when things didn’t go my way?
If you guessed by getting angry, yelling, screaming, and swearing, then collect your gold star on the way out. I swear I wouldn’t be anything like him, but then I was a carbon copy of him. It’s my best explanation of what I mean when I say the past is baked in.
It’s easy to blame the people who wronged you, but when your past is affecting your future, the buck stops with you. It was time to go to work, which I did.
The Past And Health & Fitness
There are both positive and negative aspects to recalling your past regarding your health and fitness. The good thing is, looking back, you can see how far you’ve come and how much progress you’ve made. The flip side is the things you could do when you were younger that you can no longer do now.
If you’re anything like me, you want to attempt it, to prove a point to your older self, only to be rudely reminded that it will not happen. Hello, pain, my long-lost friend. In my opinion, dealing with the past and your health involves acknowledging your failures, which hold you back from being your best self.
Past failures like blowing your diet, skipping leg day, or the money you wasted on the latest wiz-bang fitness toy that didn’t work. Some health and fitness failures can haunt you in the present and reinforce a negative mindset.
A negative mindset may remind you that you will never get big biceps, a juicy booty, or sexy shoulders, and things of that nature. The past affects your present and future.
Here’s how I deal with adverse health and fitness thoughts of Christmas past. If I quit working out, will that bring me closer or further away from my goals? I think you know the answer to that question.
Here’s what I tell my brain when dealing with negative thoughts. Remind your present self that your past self was doing the best you could, and you found another way that didn’t work.
Denying your past failures will not work, but being self-compassionate and acknowledging you were doing your best helps. Learning that you’ve found another thing that doesn’t work may help you make better decisions later on.
Because when you know better, you do better.
Wrapping Up
When the past starts to affect your present, taking positive steps to stop it from negatively hindering you is needed. It would be best if you nipped that in the bud. Doing so will help you cope with the past more effectively and keep you moving forward.
Now, if I could only stop my wife from telling me about that time from 20 years ago when…….
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