I feel everyone carries mental and physical scars, and some show and some don’t. If you’re lucky or unlucky, depending on your perspective, these scars may reappear.
Remember when you were a child (not that long ago, right), and you tumbled off your bike and grazed your elbow? After the bleeding and the pain, a scab (scar) would form so your skin could heal. Then, the temptation begins, and you want to pick it.
Remember your mum telling you to leave it alone, but you cannot resist picking at it.
So, when nobody looked, you’d bend your elbow and pick the scab from your soon-to-be scar. You’d pick at it until you made it bleed and then let the nagging begin.
Sound familiar? This was part of my childhood; I often fell off my bike onto the gravel. Trust me, I have the scars to prove it. Scars may heal on the outside, but it is a different matter on the inside. Let’s dive into how scars affect you in your quest to be healthier and fitter.
Mental Scars
I’ve finished reading The Myth Of Normal by Dr. Gabor Mate, and he writes about how big and small trauma leaves scars because our bodies keep score. When trauma is left unresolved and undealt with and bottled up, it can manifest into autoimmune diseases, chronic pain, terminal illness, or even addiction.
When people (according to the author) have dealt with these issues, they’ve achieved remarkable healing, unexplained by the medical profession.
It got me thinking about the personal baggage we all carry and how it can leave a scar if left unresolved, and then life comes along to pick at it. For instance, my father used to come home from a long day at work and let loose on Mum, the house, and me and my brothers and sisters.
Being an impressible kid, I thought that was how to deal with stuff, which led to my anger issues as an adult. So any time I’m around anger, be it my own or others, all these memories come flooding back on top of the current situation.
Life picks at the scab that hasn’t healed, bleeds again, and makes a mess.
I’m dealing with trauma by writing it down (and you reading) and by going to therapy. Holding it in and leaving it unresolved wasn’t helping; luckily, I found an outlet that helped. I’m a huge believer that it is better out than in.
If you’re dealing with unresolved mental scars and if your past is affecting your future, therapy will help.
Physical (Fitness) Scars
Failure leaves a mark.
Being a personal trainer for 15 years and spending a lot of time in gyms, I’ve seen failure and dealt with my fair share, too. Nobody likes to fail; most want to succeed, but failure is part of changing or pushing the boundaries. Failure doesn’t feel good, and if taken out of context, it can lead to an overall feeling of failure because you think you fail at everything.
Or so that inner voice tells you.
For instance, how many people start a diet, lose weight, then life gets in the way, or trip up, quit, regain all the weight, and more? In my opinion, the diet industry counts on failure to make a living. The same could be said for fitness, too, because how many fitness gadgets are out there with promises that are too good to be true?
People start, fail, and become susceptible to advertisers/marketers with too-good-to-be-true claims about losing weight for good. Anyway, when you try and fail a few times and feel like nothing works, that may leave a scar.
That scar may open up next time you try and fail at something diet—or fitness-related. In my experience, this type of start-stop-start-stop behavior leads to quitting, which is the only way to fail at this health thing.
So, how do you stop picking at that scar and making a mess? That’s a good question, and here is my best answer. Warning: There is some two-bit philosophy coming your way.
Just because you fail at something doesn’t make you a failure; you’ve succeeded at many things in the past. You have found one more way that hasn’t worked and are one step closer to finding something that will work.
Don’t quit because consistency wins; you just need to find yours.
Wrapping up
Forgiveness and self-compassion are vital for health and fitness and for getting by in life because perfection doesn’t exist. Scars happen, and they leave a mark, but if you don’t pick at them and let them heal, your health will be better for it.
Let the healing begin.
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