My wife often accuses me of not listening. How can it be my fault when she talks so much? Calm down, It’s just a joke. As a personal trainer for 17 years, I’ve had to develop listening as a skill because I like to talk a lot.
But God gave us one mouth and two ears for a reason. Listening is often the difference between a potential client signing up and a current client getting results.
Here, I’ll discuss two listening examples that made all the difference and give you a quick tip for listening well.
It even works for your partner.
Not Listening
After herniating three disks in my lower back, I was deep in the depths of chronic pain and looking for any way to get out. After seeing a chiropractor and not getting any relief, I went to a medical facility that specializes in lower back pain.
After reading my intake form, examining my MRI, and performing a few tests, the doctor made a decision. The doctor didn’t ask me any questions, and I felt the doctor didn’t listen when I talked.
What was the course of action?
The Dr. was going to knock me out and stick a giant needle in my back. The relief would be immediate and may last up to six months. Initially, I agreed to it because pain sucks. But when I had a moment to think about it, I decided against it.
Why? Because I wasn’t heard.
When the only tool (solution) is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail. I went the more difficult route of rehab and Physical Therapy, which took longer, but it worked, and I’m still pain-free to this day.
Listening For The Win
Twelve years ago, I trained a client who suffered from chronic knee pain. The client loved to run, but chronic knee pain stopped them in their tracks. This led to rehab and Physical Therapy, and the client did the required work.
But did it work? No.
When we connected, the client’s frustration was noticeable. So, I went through the assessment, listened to her issues, and programmed some knee-friendly exercises to strengthen the muscles surrounding the hip and knee. I most likely didn’t do anything too radically different from rehab.
Do you know what happened?
The knee issues lessened, and the client took off running. So, what was the difference? The only things I’ll put it down to are that I cared, listened , and made the client the center of my attention.
Good things happen when the other feels genuinely heard.
A Listening Tip
Although I’m no listening expert, as my wife knows all too well, there are two types of listening that I know about. They are:
1. Listening with an intent to respond. When someone is talking to you, and you’re thinking about what you’ll say next, the listening stops.
2. Listen to the person’s words, maintain eye contact, and clear your mind. That’s active listening. Then you’re really listening, and the person talking feels heard.
Then what is the tip? Practice number two, and when you do, if you’re in a learning scenario or in trouble, you’ll be amazed at how much it will make a difference.
Wrapping Up
Good things will happen when you maintain eye contact, empty your thoughts, and actively listen. Listening can make all the difference, whether in a friendship, relationship, or personal training session.
Listening is a skill we all need to work on. Now, could I only remember what my wife just said.
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