Boundaries, you all have them, and they have been on my mind lately because when I’m not thinking of sex, food, or exercise, some real thinking goes on. Life stuff and today’s life subject are boundaries, when to set them, and when to cross them. Please let me know in the comments below if you have any opinions.
Boundaries: Before I proceed, let’s explore some definitions and try these two for size.
A line that marks the limits of an area, a dividing line, like the boundary line in a game of football. Or, the limit of a subject or sphere of activity, for instance, pushing your strength boundary by doing one more uncomfortable rep.
IMO, some boundaries protect us, some may limit us, and some are there for your protection. Let’s explore this further.
Game Boundaries
Imagine watching your favorite sport live or on TV, and both teams are getting after it. Then, the ball or player crosses the boundary, and play continues as if nothing has changed. No whistle is blown, and the players are so hyper-focused that they don’t know they have crossed the line. What isn’t that wild? Aren’t they meant to stop and re-start play?
Boundaries protect players and fans because everything is contained within the field of play. Now, apply this to your life and your setting or lack of boundaries. An easy one to think of is your boundaries when someone stands too close and invades your personal space. It’s uncomfortable, and if you don’t say anything, that person thinks it’s just fine to do.
You must set your boundary, or that person may keep doing it. Another one parents can relate to is setting lines for their kids. Being the father of two older teenage kids, my kids, like most others, push boundaries to see what they get away with. What do you think would happen if my wife and I let certain important stuff slide and they kept pushing the boundary?
Arguments, angst, or something dangerous physically or emotionally. Sometimes, as uncomfortable as it is, you must set boundaries to protect yourself and others.
Limiting Boundaries
I’m no shrink or mindset coach, but I feel we have a certain mindset that limits us from achieving our potential or stops us from doing what we want because we ‘think’ we cannot do it. You could say these boundaries hurt more than help. Let me explain and give a personal example.
It’s a minor miracle you’re reading this because I wouldn’t say I liked writing, and English and reading were my weakest subjects at school. When I started writing to fulfill my passion, if I told myself I failed English and high school and couldn’t write myself out of a wet paper bag, reckon you’d be reading this?
Probably not. I stuck at it for some reason, and now I get paid to do it. If I had limited myself, I definitely would not have achieved what I have done today.
A while back at Outback Performance, a client was down on herself and laying down limiting boundaries. During her negative shit-talking, I said.
“ If you want to put yourself down, step outside my gym doors and go ahead. But while you’re in here, it’s not acceptable.”
After that moment, she achieved great things in terms of her health and fitness. It’s easier said than done, but when you stop the constant negative self-talk and replace it with I think I can, you’re more likely to reach a goal than not.
Don’t you think?
Pushing Boundaries
Pushing boundaries is how I earn my bread and butter as a coach. Over the years, many of my female clients have been told to act a certain way, look a certain way, and behave a certain way. Being strong, having muscles, and picking up and putting down heavy things is not very ladylike in certain circles.
In my opinion, these limiting beliefs need to be pushed. It requires a gradual introduction, instruction, and education on my part on the benefits of getting stronger. But when the client buys in and realizes what they are capable of, then moments like this happen.
When it comes to getting results in the gym, pushing boundaries and eliminating limiting beliefs will help you achieve better flex time in the mirror.
Come on, you know you want to.
Wrapping Up
There are times when boundaries protect you and limit you and times when they need to be pushed aside. Set them to protect you and push aside the ones that limit you. If you need some help with the strength side, contact me here.
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